Harmony – Marriage’s Ultimate Goal
I know I repeatedly used the word “harmony” throughout my book, The Fulfilled Marriage: The Three Doors. I have to confess that it is one of my favorite words when talking about marriage, but if we want to make “sweet music” with our spouses, then developing deeper and deeper harmony is essential.
True harmony comes from a mutual commitment to your relationship, evidenced by putting your spouse ahead of yourself. But it also requires you to mutually adopt the same God-ordained values and to have a great fervor to please God, above all else.
The enemies that you will meet along the path to harmony include the evil twins of selfishness and self-centeredness. If embraced, they make it impossible to have a marriage that is fulfilling or to participate in what God has for you in life. Living outside of God’s plan and parameters will never bring satisfaction, true happiness, or fulfillment. A person who hangs onto the old nature’s self-life will be like a horse enticed by an apple in front of him that he will never quite be able to reach.
In contrast, the apostle Paul tells us in two places what a harmonious relationship with God and your spouse should be like. Jesus unapologetically and bluntly tells us what the cost will be!
Paul:
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
– Romans 12:16, New International Version (NIV)
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
– Romans 12:9-13, NIV
Jesus:
For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.
– Luke 9:24, NIV
A couple in harmony gives off an aura that can be seen plainly in social gatherings. You might see them looking at each other across the room where they seem to be saying “I’d rather be with you.” Or even in church one might see them holding hands or putting an arm around the other while worshiping the Lord. Or they might be seen holding hands while walking in the mall, or even stealing a kiss in hopes no one will see them.
It might have been in observing a couple like one of those that the expression, “They have a marriage made in heaven” began to be used. Don’t we all want “a marriage made in heaven?”
The cost to achieve harmony is well worth the price because if you continue in your self-life you will never sense peace, joy or fulfillment in your life, and your marriage will never pass mediocracy. God made us that way and He doesn’t make any mistakes. Grasp this with everything you’ve got!
God bless you,
Ted
