God’s Plan for Your Sexual Fulfillment
To the Christian couple, lovemaking should not only be physical but also emotional lovemaking (affection), spiritual lovemaking (inviting God into our bedrooms, and honoring and worshiping God for this gift), and with learned skill primarily through discovery and experience during marriage (mental). As mentioned before (in my book The Fulfilled Marriage), Christians should be the best lovers in the entire world, because body, soul, mind, and spirit should be involved in the act.
It is because of this total involvement of ourselves, body, soul, and spirit, that the process of becoming “one flesh” is possible. And for the same reason, each spouse can fulfill their partner’s emotional needs whether affection, or sexual fulfillment, or both. That is why the covenant of marriage finds its final seal in becoming one flesh.
Has our attitude and our understanding in the past limited us from experiencing all that God intends for us to experience? Have our encounters with a darkened culture, and our past experiences, sullied what this wonderful experience should be?
God chose the act of physical love as the binding seal of your marriage. In Christianity and in Judaism, coming together physically is the beginning of the marriage, not an event that goes before the ceremony, but one that follows; without the sealing union there is no marriage covenant. God serves as both the Creator of human sexuality and as our Father who loves us and wants us to enjoy what He has created for us. God fashioned man and woman different from all other creatures. Animals mate almost exclusively for reproduction, at particular times of a cycle. But we as Adam and Eve’s progeny are uniquely designed with a sexuality that can be experienced for repeated pleasure for pleasure’s sake, as well as for the perpetuation of humanity. In fact, I believe sexual love for the Christian couple is necessary for bonding. Bonding of parents, finding oneness with each other, is absolutely necessary for a healthy home environment to raise our children.
It is important that we keep in mind that our western culture’s sexual values are incompatible with God’s plan for sexuality. The biblical view requires us to rid ourselves of both past experiences and erroneous thought. Many of us need a serious reboot, wiping the slate clean. Similarly, we need to rid our understanding of the negative attitudes and restrictive rules that have historically been promulgated by parts of the church, and unfortunately, in many cases by parents. Even to this day, parts of the church consider married life as a lower state and less pleasing to God than celibacy. If celibacy were better, why would God have created us mentally, chemically, emotionally, and physically so that we can enjoy this gift as often as we like? Why would God have said, “It is not good that man dwell alone?”
A wonderful thing to keep in mind is that whenever this union of love takes place, it can be a reenactment and remembrance of your wedding night, a reminder of the great seal that was placed on your life together. So, make this occasion a recommitment to all that your marriage vows declared.
In His love,
Ted
