What Are We Doing To Our Children? Part 1
Excerpt from The Fulfilled Marriage: The Three Doors by Ted Dean
One morning in the spring of 2018, I awoke at my usual time. But before I could begin to rise from the bed, I experienced a vision (certainly not a common experience for me) that shook me to the core, and to a great extent still continues to be as vivid today as it was then. I saw a white robed arm that was moving from right to left, reaching for and then beginning to turn a doorknob and then begin to open the door. As the door opened slightly, maybe five or six inches, I saw behind the door a multitude of children crying out in great distress, anxiety, and fear. After a few seconds I sensed that the door was going to be opened even further, and I cried out, “No, Lord, please, I can’t stand it!”
The Lord spoke clearly, “This is why you are in the marriage ministry.” Then the room returned to normal.
Since that time, I have thought of that vision often, never fully understanding why I was chosen to experience it. Why not someone more significant in the Body of Christ that can spread this terrible and important message to a much larger number of Christian couples? On a personal note, I do know that before this experience, my motivation was to simply help couples have the best possible Christian marriages they could have.
Now I understand that God sees something much more important about our marriages than I did in the past – namely our children, their future, and the future of His bride, the Church.
Who are “We?
Before we address the issue of “What are we doing to our children?” let us define who “we” is. In our writings, postings, and in our courses, Esther and I are primarily addressing Christians. Those specifically that have experienced a personal salvation (re-birth) through faith in the shed blood of Christ and have as a result committed their lives to the lordship of Christ. In simple terminology, they have become disciples (followers) of Christ. This does not mean that our teachings, which have a biblical foundation, will not be of benefit to others. God’s wisdom is always true, dynamic, and capable of improving the state of all marriages if His words are embraced and followed.
In this article, I am primarily addressing, “disciples,” those who declare they have a desire for an ongoing and growing personal relationship with the Lord-of-All. What follows as a logical presumption would be that, as a disciple, all those who identify as being Christian desire to please God and follow His precepts for their life and their marriage.
Counter to that assertion, with clearly apparent observation and indisputable statistics, we find the assumptions of being a disciple in practice today are very far from what God requires of His children. The reality is that Christians have sullied their relationship by overruling the God of Heaven and have chosen to go their own way. Apparently, we are either believing God does not mean what He says or that the breaking of the covenant of Marriage is not as serious as it is portrayed in the Scriptures.
What is Divorce Doing to Our Children?
In the Church today, we are approaching the same level of divorce as that in the population as a whole. Divorce is far beyond simply being unfortunate or a sin that only affects you and your spouse. It is an action that weakens the entire Body of Christ (the Church Universal) and is especially damaging to our children. In essence, every divorce makes it easier for other Christian couples to also quit trying to improve and sustain their marriage and take the “easy route” by divorcing.
With more and more divorces taking place today, we see a corresponding exponential breakup of marriages among the younger generations, those who come from broken homes. Divorce is not just a problem; it is an insidious epidemic that is destroying our culture and the future of the church. Half of the Children of our broken marriages leave the church as young adults and never return.
Divorce is a sinister form of “Russian Roulette,” when every other bullet results in the spiritual destruction of a child!
So, it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
Matthew 18:14, English Standard Version (ESV)
If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
Matthew 18:6, New International Version (NIV)
Divorce Facts to Ponder
Each statement that follows is from reliable sources and studies.*
- Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage.
- Close to half of those, will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.
- Ten percent will see three or more divorces.
- Forty percent of children are being raised without their fathers.
- Of children being born, fifty percent will experience a divorce of their parents before their eighteenth birthday.
- Children from divorced parents earn lower grades.
- Teenagers in single parent homes or blended families are three times more likely to have emotional and psychological problems.
- Children of divorced parents have more problems than those who have lost a parent by death!
- Children of divorce have more medical issues. Children in non-divorce families have 20-35 percent less illness.
- Molested children are more likely to be in single parent homes.
- Children of divorced parents are likely to be lonely, unhappy, anxious and insecure.
- Seventy percent of long-term inmates grew up in single parent homes.
- People and children who attempt to commit suicide are twice as likely to be from broken homes.
To Be Continued——————-
* A excellent and detailed listing of statements with sources is available from Larry Bilotta’s Marriage Success Secrets at http://www.marriage-success-secrets.com/statistics-about-children-and-divorce.html
