It is very important that when we need to forgive, that afterward we have the assurance that we have truly permanently forgiven. The reason that we need to have written our forgiveness in indelible ink is because Satan and your old self-life will deny you really forgave in order to try to return you to the “Jail of Bitterness”. Two of the steps I have outlined below, “making a temporal monument”, and utilizing the “shield of faith” has helped Esther and me in the process of overcoming serious forgiveness issues in our past. The final step is the going beyond yourself and drawing on the Holy Spirit to help you not only forgive but also to bless the party that has hurt you deeply. This is the acceptable end to forgiveness that is illustrated so clearly in the story of Joseph.
But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 5:44 King James Version (KJV)
Considering what we have just discussed, the sobering points are clear that:
- God requires that we forgive all others.
- That within our marriage we must, at God’s direction, have an ongoing forgiving lifestyle.
- That failure to forgive results in serious spiritual, emotional and physical problems.
- That the act of love worked out in forgiveness requires Agape love, the totally unconditional love that only God has, and makes it available to all of His children through the working of the Holy Spirit.
God uses us to be the vessel of His divine and unconditional love. Here are five steps in granting forgiveness through Agape (divine sacrificial love) which is a privilege, because:
- First, it takes our will to align with God’s will to forgive.
- Second, it needs our trust in God’s ability for love, and forgiveness to come through us.
- Third, it takes our mind to plant a temporal monument on the day of forgiveness that we can always remember when and where forgiveness was given without reservation, in an irrevocable way.
- Fourth, we must control our inner ear, shutting it off from the enemy’s accusations that we have not forgiven by utilizing our shield of faith.
- Fifth, the final work of forgiveness is your blessing, providing empathy, and love towards the offender (this is your “being Christ-like moment”). Remember it is the act of blessing, not the feeling. Feelings may never come.
In marriage, unforgiveness can be manifested in the form of anger towards a spouse, even though the issue finds its roots in hurts received from another individual or group. If you have unforgiveness towards another, you are bringing poison into your marriage relationship and there is only one antidote: repentance, and forgiveness. Your time is limited because you have no idea of how deep the infection has already spread through your marriage relationship. No one wants to be around a bitter person, not even your children.
I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,
Philippians 3:10 New International Version (NIV)
The Fulfilled Marriage: The Three Doors is saturated with important information about forgiveness that is vital for our success as both spouses and a citizen of the Kingdom of God.
TOPIC: Forgiveness
