The Marriage Bed
In 307 A.D. Lucius Lactantius A.D. 250–A.D. 325), one of the early fathers of the Church and personal advisor of the faith to Emperor Constantine, penned the following words:
When God had formulated the plan of the two sexes, he instilled in them the desire for each other along with delight in intercourse. He, therefore, mixed into the bodies of all living things a most ardent [sexual] desire. Our adversary knows, then, how great is the power of this desire…and he causes it to change from something right and good to something evil and depraved…so that foreign [desires] contaminate the proper ones that are themselves sinless.
Although these words were written in full agreement with Paul’s letter on this same subject (2 Corinthians 7:2-4), I think Lactantius brings us a much more useful and clearer understanding that we desperately need for our time in history. Unlike many other founding fathers of the faith, who with bias and without scriptural support, considered that sex was brought into the world by “Eve’s” sinning, and that sex should only be practiced with the purpose of procreation, Lactantius recognized sexual fulfillment as a gift from God to be necessary, valued, and enjoyed.
It is in the recognition of this blessing for our marriages we see that sex is a wonderful gift from God that can lead to joy and wonder through sexual fulfillment. This is significant, that the Creator chose the “one flesh” experience as the final seal and as the conclusion of the covenant agreement of marriage itself. Recognizing God’s hand in our design and His ascribed importance to this most intimate act, we should strive to experience all the good and wonder that can come from it. God intends for both spouses to experience pleasure, joy, romance, excitement and a deeper bonding of mind, body, and soul within marriage as frequently as they desire. God’s word places no limitations on the “one flesh” experience, except that we do all things in love.
Significantly, it should be noted that Paul‘s and Lactantius’s words agree as to the importance of the marriage bed as a protection from the enticement of the corresponding decadent cultures that existed during both of their lives. Clearly God’s method of protecting us from sexual immorality is even more important today. Never were such a number of various forms of sexual immorality more widespread and easily available as today. It is imperative that we understand the necessity of having a proper attitude toward sex.
We must, as God’s children, utilize this gift to bring enjoyment, freedom, and protection for our marriages. Understood in the context of the scriptures and also probably stated in your marriage vows, you agreed to “forsake all others.” Thus, as a couple, you must ensure that each of you finds sexual fulfillment within your marriage, as there is no alternative.
By looking at sex within our marriages with the proper light of the Word of God, we see the marriage bed as being both a positive and purposeful experience. First, we are to ensure that in our participation we offer ourselves fully to our spouse (2 Corinthians 7:3-4).
Secondly, we need to realize that our marriage bed is undefiled (Hebrews 13:4), meaning there is freedom for us as God’s children, with no limitations to discover and experience that which will bring joy, pleasure, and fulfillment to both husband and wife.
The act of giving ourselves to our spouse not only brings sexual love and pleasure (Eros), but also by the giving of oneself, adds something even much greater, namely sacrificial love (Agape). This is the very same type of love God by His loving nature continues to have for us, a love most clearly manifested on Calvary in the giving of His one and only Son so that we could become His children (John 3:16).
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Ephesians 5:22,25, NIV
